Lufthansa And SkyWay Robbery: Nonstop Rue

Lufthansa’s policies allow it to collect three fares for two flights How it works: Customer pu

California German Immersion Program Gains International Acclaim, Growing Pains

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE GLENDALE, Calif.—Dignitaries from Germany and Austria toured a groundbreakin

Twitter Conference Attracts More Than 140 Characters in Search of a Scene

But there was also the slightest whiff that, like Friendster—and maybe even MySpace!—Twitter mig

A Short And Euphonious Conversation with Jeff Danna

"You need to have just enough life outside your work to inform your work. I've seen this, and I know

Someone’s in the Elevator with La Llorona

The next time you hear a woman screaming "Donde esta mis ninos?" like a thousand cats, don't say "A

The Devil Shops Kroger’s

Satan scanned your Twinkies

“The Shark Is Still Working”: Bruce facts, Kintner boy spill out on Doc

"This movie...crashed into people like a speeding truck," said Richard Dreyfuss

Stork Contrast: “What Makes A Baby”

Cory Silverberg wanted to write a children’s book that addressed what makes a baby from a diff

 

Lufthansa And SkyWay Robbery: Nonstop Rue

June 18, 2013 in commerce, consumerism, Top, transportation

Lufthansa's current motto is "Nonstop You."

Lufthansa’s current motto is “Nonstop You.”

Lufthansa’s policies allow it to collect three fares for two flights

neinvogelHow it works: Customer purchases ticket but misses flight. Seat is sold to standby customer for $600 more. Original customer told he must pay $500 in change fees plus the difference in fare for the next flight, even sitting in the same section. Customer told at desk he can get a refund, but told on phone he cannot. Customer not allowed to redeem ticket for less expensive one (even at a loss). Customer must choose higher fare and pay fees plus difference in fare to redeem original ticket. This creates a situation in which a customer is likely to find a less expensive fare with the same airline and pay out of pocket for it. Either way customer ends up paying twice for one flight, and the airline can collect three fares for two flights.

I have missed flights before. I am a few minutes late, I can see the plane parked on the tarmac, I watch it taxiing away as I pay a hundred bucks (or nothing) to get on the next flight. On April 6 I similarly missed a Lufthansa flight from Los Angeles to Venice, but it looks like I will never go, and that the company is banking on keeping the fare.

A friend drops me off at the Woodley Street Flyaway, a bus terminal in Van Nuys. It’s been remodeled since the last time I was there, and I wait in the wrong line. A bus to LAX passes me. It’s my bus. By the time I catch the next one, I’m really cutting it close.

I arrive at the Tom Bradley International Terminal to the sound of my name being paged. I reach the desk, hand over my passport, and say “My name is being called right now.” I am told that security has closed. I can walk on if I leave my bag with the person who brought me. I explain that the person who brought me is a bus, and that bus is gone. I ask if there are lockers. I can store my bag here and buy underwear in Venice. I’m not proud.

“Not since 9/11,” says the polite Austrian Lufthansa representative.

Meanwhile, someone on standby has just purchased my seat for $1900, or $600 more than my employer paid. I know she has my seat because she complains about it on the phone.

“That one is way in the back,” she says. “But at least I’m on.”

“What time is the next flight?” I ask. I had a layover in Frankfurt where I was to meet a longtime colleague for the first time in person. Looks like I’ll miss that, but maybe I can even land a direct flight to Venice.

It is to be my first trip to Europe. My ticket is in Economy, class VV. I imagine that’s not particularly classy, come to think of it.

I am handed to another representative, who tells me there is a flight through Munich later in the evening. I should make it to Venice just a few hours later than planned. It will cost me $1100.

“Pardon me, but why is it going to cost $1100?” I expected to pay a hundred bucks, maybe $200 because the flight was international. I don’t know how these things work, but I know from the last time something like this happened that it involved 15 seconds of typing and a hundred bucks, or roughly six dollars a second.

“This ticket was purchased several weeks ago when the fares were lower. The fares have increased, so it will now be $1100.” I am told, The person telling me this does not look pained to be breaking this bad news to me, nor does he look glib.

“But you just made about $600 on that standby ticket you just sold,” I am saying. “You just sold my seat for $1900.”

“I am sorry,” the representative says, not seeming sorry, or happy, or anything. Perhaps tired. “But it doesn’t work that way.”

It dawns on me that I might not get in a plane that day. I learn that the exact same flight tomorrow will cost me $800. Ditto for the Monday flight. After an hour (I am paged for at least 30 minutes during this conversation; it is maddening), the plane has left. I send emails to my employers from my phone.

Yet another representative appears from the back room behind the Lufthansa desk. She bears some notepaper with several numbers that start at $800 and go to $1500 on them. All alternate fares. These amounts include something called a rebooking fee and a cancellation fee, both $250.

“This has happened to me before,” I repeat to the new person. “It has never cost me more than $100 to get on the next flight. All you have to do is type something. And I met the standby passenger who bought my seat for $1900.”

“She didn’t by your seat,” I am told. “It doesn’t work that way.”

“So how does my company get refunded?” I ask. Because I’m going to be in trouble.

“You need to call Customer Service,” I am told, and the Customer Service Representative writes down the number below the $1500.

“But aren’t you Customer Service?” I say. “I mean, we’re right here.”

“We have another flight coming in.”

Clearly they wanted me away from the desk. I walk upstairs and find a seat. It is odd to be carting my luggage behind me. Usually by this point in an airport the baggage has been checked and it’s Miller Time. But I move my seat to a corner so I can hear.

I call Lufthansa Customer Service about refunding the ticket price to my company.

“Your company bought a non-refundable ticket,” I am told.

“I was just told at the desk—where I’d been waiting an hour—that I needed to call you to get a refund,” I say.

“I don’t know why they told you that. Your company purchased a non-refundable ticket. According to the Rules of the Ticket, it can’t be refunded.”

“Wha – ”

“Do you wish to keep your ticket?”

“What do you mean?”

“Do you wish to keep your ticket?”

“I heard what you said,” I say. “But what do you mean? I’ve just been waiting for an hour to get on the next flight and you’re hitting me with charges that would almost double what my company paid for the first ticket.”

“We have a $250 reinstatement fee plus the $250 cancellation fee, and as a gesture of Good Will we can waive the reinstatement fee, plus the difference in the fare. And we can keep that ticket valid in your name for a flight up until March, 2013.”

This is insane, and I tell them this, politely. This ticket was purchased for me but I screwed up and got there late, but I can’t even return it to the company who bought the ticket for me? What if I’d died on the road to the airport and missed the flight? Lufthansa would have just sold my seat to a standby customer and collected two fares?

Oh wait. That’s what they did.

I eat an expensive Mexican dinner within sight of the Lufthansa desk, then pay $50 for a shuttle home. I cancel the dog walker. My dog is aware I’m brokenhearted. I send a series of emails to my employer. The team is all en route and they’ll pick up the messages tomorrow. I’ll try to work out a way to do the job from home on Venice time.

So now I’m thinking that I’ll wait for the fares to get lower again, eat crow, pay $250, and fly to Venice in a cheaper season.

The next morning I eat a good breakfast and call Customer Service again. I get a thorough explanation of the charges, each of which is complete nonsense, in my opinion. I explain that Lufthansa did not lose a pfennig on me—in fact it made $600—and these extra charges and fare differences were onerous and usurious.

The Rules of the Ticket were explained again, as if the Ticket were listening, and would be angry.

“If your company had purchased a more expensive ticket,” I am told, “you’d have more flexibility.”

“So Lufthansa punishes people who buy the lower-priced tickets,” I say. I am on the website and I notice that there are fares that day that total $900. I ask why I wasn’t quoted these prices at the desk yesterday.

“The fare needs to be the same or higher to have transferred your ticket,” I am told. “The computer will not even accept a reservation if the ticket is a lower price than your reinstated ticket.”

I reflect out loud how odious this is, that a $1300 ticket has already been purchased for a seat that was snapped up by a standby customer for $1900 because I was late. That I could not get my company’s money back despite no service being rendered. That I would have to pay arbitrary fees between $250 and $500 (because if a fee can be waived as a “Good Will Gesture” then it was arbitrary in the first place) just to think of buying another ticket, and then pay the difference in fare which, according to the Rules of the Ticket, needed to be higher.

“If you had purchased a more expensive ticket—” the representative says, after mentioning something about not making the rules.

“What’s more,” I add, “you basically guarantee that my $1300 ticket will expire, unredeemed, by making the charges to redeem it so ridiculous. I would have paid $250 to reinstate the ticket and get a fare below $1300 not expecting a refund, but you won’t even let me do that.”

“I will not be able to authorize a fare difference,” I am told.

According to California’s Office of the Attorney General:

California law requires that retailers who have a policy of not providing a cash refund, credit or exchange when an item is returned with proof of purchase within 7 days of purchase must inform consumers about their refund policies by conspicuously placing a written notice about their policies, in language that consumers can understand, so that it can be easily seen and read. Some companies may limit exchanges or returns for credit or refunds on all, or some products. Some may not allow exchanges or returns for credit or refunds at all. But whatever the limitation, it must be conspicuously disclosed.

While the small print in the ticket confirmation forwarded me by Human Resources does state that mine was a non-refundable ticket, it does not say that Lufthansa reserves the right to double-charge me to redeem a single ticket, which effectively is a triple-charge considering the money it made from a standby passenger.

California German Immersion Program Gains International Acclaim, Growing Pains

December 14, 2012 in academia, interviews, language, Top

Deputy Consul Stefan Biedermann (R.) presents a check to Franklin Elementary's German Immersion Program. (L-R) Teacher Soecialist Ana Jones, Glendale School Board member Jpylene Wagner, Principal Vickie Atikian-Aviles, Language Coordinator Frank Duscha

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

GLENDALE, Calif.—Dignitaries from Germany and Austria toured a groundbreaking German language immersion program here, enjoyed a holiday “Winterkonzert” featuring more than 100 of its students, and presented Benjamin Franklin Magnet School a check from the German government.

Handing the $5,000 check to Principal Vicki Atikian-Aviles, Deputy Consul Stefan Biedermann of the German Consulate of Los Angeles praised Franklin Magnet, part of the Foreign Language Academy of Glendale (FLAG).

“You are preparing these students for the realities of the global economy,” Biedermann said after chatting in German with kindergarteners and fourth-graders, “where multilingualism is necessary.”

Germany’s Central Agency for Schools Abroad provided the check. Language Coordinator Frank Duscha works with numerous public and private German schools in the United States from the agency’s Los Angeles headquarters, providing financial assistance, teacher training, and exchange programs to schools from Anchorage to Ft. Lauderdale.

“(For potential teachers in Germany), we describe the Glendale area as a paradise,” Duscha says.

Herr Magister Andreas Lins of the Austrian Consulate-General reminded the packed auditorium of Winterkonzert attendees that, while Germany might be the largest German-speaking nation, “we mustn’t forget Austria, Switzerland, Belgium, Poland, Luxembourg, and Liechtenstein!”

Franklin Magnet German Immersion students perform their "Winterkonzert"

All but a few of the students, who from kindergarten are instructed for 90 percent of their class time in German, are native English speakers, notes FLAG Teacher Specialist Ana Jones, yet by sixth grade are proficient in both languages.

Jones added that studying one language accelerates the acquisition of others.

“Studies indicate that as students become more fluent in their target language,” Jones says, “that they outscore monolingual students (in standardized tests).”

Audrey Klein, now the parent of a second-grader, helped to launch the German program in Glendale before her son entered kindergarten, and says the Glendale Unified School District (GUSD) made it easy.

“I met a German teacher in yoga class,” Klein, who was born in Glendale but raised in Bremen, Germany, says. “We were at first thinking of a charter school and had no idea a public school would support this. But we took the idea to the GUSD and the doors just swung open.”

In addition to German, FLAG boasts immersion programs in Italian, Spanish, and French at Franklin and Korean, Japanese, and Armenian at other schools across Glendale, the fourth-largest city in Los Angeles County.

Klein’s concerns about the program include constantly-looming budget cuts that threaten to increase class sizes.

“I’m a big fan of small classes with great parent involvement,” Klein says. “We have the parent involvement, but I hope we can keep the small, and that the program can continue.”

Another problem facing Franklin Magnet is the popularity of the programs testing the spatial limitations of the campus. Since it is a magnet school, students come to the German program from all over Glendale, La Crescenta, Los Angeles, and as far as Thousand Oaks, 40 miles away.

“The language teachers here are like a family,” says German kindergarten teacher Elke Tupanjanin, “and we would be very sad to move.”

But the growing pains are offset by parent involvement, the support of invested governments, and the enthusiasm of the students, who were clearly delighted to be singing in German for international dignitaries and parents.

German teacher Vera Sanon introduces her second grade class to Deputy Consul Stefan Biedermann

Second-grade teacher Vera Sanon says the children are aware of their talent, but humble.

“We had a visitor in class recently and the children didn’t want to ask him how many languages he knew,” she says, “because they didn’t want him to think they were smarter than he was.”

See also: Franklin Magnet School, German Consulate General, Los Angeles, German Central Agency for Schools Abroad,

Twitter Conference Attracts More Than 140 Characters in Search of a Scene

October 8, 2010 in interviews, language, social networking, technology, Top

Breathless Twitter true believer and skeptical ROI seeker alike shared the stage at L.A.’s second annual 140 Character Conference, where the discourse was a blend of business plan and wishful thinking. Read the rest of this entry →

A Short And Euphonious Conversation with Jeff Danna

October 2, 2010 in documentaries, interviews, movies, music, Top

Composer Jeff Danna has scored a number of Hollywood movies, providing imaginative and compelling music for projects as diverse as shorts (the 7-minute festival darling “GayKeith”), documentaries (the “June 17, 1994″ episode of ESPN’s “30 for 30″ series), and sweeping, trippy features (Terry Gilliam’s “The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus”). Read the rest of this entry →

Someone’s in the Elevator with La Llorona

October 19, 2009 in Arts, movies, Top

rigo1The next time you hear a woman screaming “Donde esta mis ninos?” like a thousand cats,  don’t say “Aqui.”

Rigoberto Castaneda is the director of two powerful horror movies, one a ghost story set in Mexico City that draws on an ancient folk tale, and the other what amounts to a drawing room thriller without the drawing room.

I spoke with him recently about ghosts, fate, and the Norse.

Read the rest of this entry →

The Devil Shops Kroger’s

October 7, 2009 in history, philosophy, technology

This month marks the 60th anniversary of the bar code, which literally originated as a line in the sand. It is also, therefore, a milestone in the colorful history of eschatology, or study of the End Times. Read the rest of this entry →

“The Shark Is Still Working”: Bruce facts, Kintner boy spill out on Doc

May 7, 2009 in books, documentaries, movies

“Jaws” was never a small movie; Peter Benchley’s novel of the same name was already a swimaway bestseller by the time the movie version was being filmed off and on the island of Martha’s Vineyard in 1974. Despite producer David Brown’s assertion that Universal’s 1975 shark tale was “just a big indie film,” however, its unprecedented success originated the era of the summer popcorn blockbuster. Read the rest of this entry →

Stork Contrast: “What Makes A Baby”

May 30, 2012 in interviews, Top

"What Makes A Baby" by Cory Silverberg

Cory Silverberg wanted to write a children’s book that addressed what makes a baby from a different perspective: one that didn’t assume the child was born to a heterosexual couple.

“It’s a book about where babies come from that makes no reference to intercourse,” Silverberg, the Sexuality editor of About.com, says.

But when’s the last time you read a children’s book with intercourse in it?

“I can’t think of any,” Silverberg laughs, “But most of them dance around the subject, as you’d expect. And that’s appropriate. But ‘What Makes A Baby’ doesn’t even make those assumptions.”

Silverberg’s “What Makes A Baby” addresses a world in which the means are more varied—infants arrive to single-parent homes, as the result of donated sperm or In-Vitro Fertilization or surrogates, to Lesbian, Gay, Bi-sexual, Transgendered partners, via adoption and fertility treatments—but the ends are the same: a child who wants to know where he came from.

“‘Where do babies come from’ and ‘Where do I come from’ aren’t often recognized as two different questions,” Silverberg says. “By removing the heterosexual intercourse aspect, we can talk to everybody.”

The 32-page hardcover book was funded through a Kickstarter campaign. Canadian artist Fiona Smyth illustrated the full-color tome to reflect Silverberg’s request that “everyone not look the same.

“…so we’ve got purple people, people who look like trees…” he says. “It is very colorful and engaging to little kids.”

But the project has drawn the ire of some conservative thinkers.

Commenting to Canada’s LifeSite News, Michael O’Brien says the book ignores the consequences of non-traditional babymaking:

Based in a profound ignorance about human nature, and about what makes for a healthy family, it is the next stage in the self-destruction of the traditional family and healthy society that was once the foundation of Western civilization.

Further, children’s author and professor Dr. Christine Schintgen tells the site that “What Makes A Baby” is “social engineering”:

Instead of acknowledging the fundamental truth that sexual intercourse between a husband and wife is both the normal and the desired way to bring children into the world, this book will attempt to normalize morally problematic, and sometimes bizarre, forms of reproduction.

Calling the book a “graphic contribution to the decline of Western civilization,” Presbyterian pastor David Fischler is more subtle:

What would a book about making babies be without including those who can’t? If pre-schoolers aren’t made aware of in vitro fertilization, surrogate gay motherhood, fertility drugs, and the whole panoply of modern scientific and sociological options, they might grow up stunted and homophobic. And if a child really is the product of the intersection of a “turkey baster and a friend,” wouldn’t he or she want to know about that?

“I have no interest in insisting that my version is the only way,” Silverberg says. “But that’s the point: if you’re a member of any population that isn’t addressed by most ‘Baby’ books, now you don’t leave with the feeling of something being missing.”

Ontario native Silverberg now lives in New Jersey where his own partner is studying. They are not parents themselves.

“But this is the book I’d want for them,” Silverberg says.

Having co-authored (with Miriam Kaufman and Fran Odette) “The Ultimate Guide to Sex and Disability: For All of Us Who Live with Disabilities, Chronic Pain, and Illness,” Silverberg initially lacked the motivation to begin “What Makes A Baby.”

“Then my friend, Jake, who happens to be transgendered, facebooked me and told me he and his partner were expecting a second child, and that their first child had questions,” Silverberg says. “Because I had one child to write for, I felt better prepared to do it.”

The Kickstarter campaign’s initial $9,500 goal was to fund a limited run and artist Smyth’s fee, but the project took in more than $60,000, so Silverberg is more ambitious.

“We’re printing more copies—domestically, in Minnesota—and hoping to develop an app in multiple languages,” he says. “Then, me and each of my friends will be sitting down and putting each book in an envelope by hand.”

Not with a turkey baster?

“You know,” Silverberg says, “this book is absolutely fine for biological children of heterosexual couples, too.”

See also: “What Makes A Baby” | Cory Silverberg | Fiona Smyth

John Pedersen’s Business Is Smashing

March 24, 2012 in Arts, commerce, music, technology, Top

John Pedersen at work remving dents from a baritone horn

A genial Burbank tradesman offers musicians a unique service that sometimes involves a wood chipper. Read the rest of this entry →

Apple Launches iPadito Palm-Sized Tablet

March 8, 2010 in commerce, consumerism, technology, Top

Following weeks of consumer hysteria over its as-yet-unreleased iPad tablet computer, Apple announced several models of a smaller incarnation of the Flash-based device. Read the rest of this entry →

Faulty Internet at CES prompts introspection

January 7, 2010 in technology, Top

CESMMX2An apt metaphor for how technology continues to drive us inward is the Katrina-style ghetto into which the press has been herded for the 2010 International Consumer Electronics Show. Read the rest of this entry →

Scream, “Black Devil Doll,” Scream!

November 19, 2009 in interviews, movies, Top

Relentlessly marketed, inexpensively produced, and patently offensive, “Black Devil Doll” is a very special movie that does for feminism what the civil rights movement did for puppets.

Re-animated in puppet form the moment of his state-sponsored electrocution, unstable lover/fighter Mubia Abul-Jama (yes, I know) falls in love with sassy Heather Honeydew Boone. Read the rest of this entry →

Black Freighter to Fanboy Island: Alex Tse of “Watchmen”

October 24, 2009 in books, interviews, movies, Top

alextseAlan Moore’s “Watchmen
” graphic novels, about two generations of flawed vigilantes and a nuked supersentient being working for the U.S. government, took nearly two decades and several writers to make it to the big screen earlier this year. Read the rest of this entry →