Items: Obama hears a Lama, Debtor nation detonation, the Wetter Olympics
President Barack Obama is walking a tightrope in his choice to meet with exiled Tibetan leader the Dalai Lama without offending China, those exiling superstars. No matter what the president decides, however, this week’s scheduled meeting or non-meeting is sure to infuriate someone.
“If Obama meets the Lama, we will be infuriated,” said all of China.
“I will be infuriated if Obama does not meet the Dalai Lama,” said Richard Gere.
The solution? Obama and the Lama will meet in private. That way no one will know.
All this anger about such a tranquil, mountain-dwelling man.
I asked the Dalai Lama if he, too, was seething with rage.
“It is for the cosmos to decide if I meet the President or not,” the serene 14th manifestation of the Bodhisattva of Compassion said. “But if I don’t get these sandals off I’m'a stab a bitch.”
The white-hot fury surrounding the Dalai Lama has traveled via underground rivers of electricity and plate tectonics to Vancouver, where warm intermittent rains have postponed several scheduled events of the 2010 Winter Olympics.
“Were Obama to but share a beer in the Rose Garden with His Holiness and (Chinese President) Hu Jintao, the Glorious Snows would again come, and the Celestial Ice Weasel would drag my sleigh in its Cavernous Mouth,” said Tibetan bobsled captain Proprang Bligginterpin.
Over in Greece, the country’s staggering deficit – 12.7 percent of its economy – reminds us that those unwilling to remember history are doomed to repeat it. In this case, the history is that of sacrificed ram-god Poseidon’s tot, the one bearig the Golden Fleece.
Athens is fleecing Greece of its future, in much the same way that Jason fleeced curly Phrixus of the fleece back in, like, 1972. Phrixus, son of Athamas, stepson of the jealous Ino, and brother of the doomed, drowned Helle, for some reason thought that sacrificing the golden ram to Poseidon was a great idea.
Don’t get me wrong: popular lord Jehovah once told Abraham to sacrifice his son, Isaac, to prove his loyalty to the deity, but that was G-d doing the asking. Why Phrixus thought that stabbing the ram and then bringing the limp body to its own dad, Poseidon, as a gift, well, just makes me not understand Greek even more.
That said, it is clear that modern Greece’s financial problems are directly related to its ancient inability to choose the right gift for a god, thus Obama must behave prudently in his treatment of His Holiness, the 14th Dalai Lama, or Athamas’s ousted wife, Nephele, will bring drought to Vancouver.
See also: Vancouver 2010, Jason and the Golden Fleece, Barack Obama to meet Dalai Lama at White House in private , Eurozone tells Greece to ready new cuts, taxes
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