There is something magical, like the first time you flushed a foreign object down an airplane toilet, about feeding a compact disc through a titanium-toothed shredder and running your hands through the residue.
But what is that residue called?
I spoke with Staples representatives at the 2009 International Consumer Electronics Show (CES), and I got passed off from one employee to the other.
“Isn’t there some trade association term for this residue that you use as shorthand at your shredder conventions?” I asked.
Staples is debuting a new line of weapons-grade shredders that will be available in stores and online in February with price points ranging from $99 to $299.
• MailMate M5 Shredder ($89.99)
• 10-Sheet Crosscut Shredder ($99.99)
• 10-Sheet Microcut Shredder ($199.99)
• 12-Sheet Crosscut Shredder ($149.99)
• 15-Sheet Crosscut Shredder ($159.99)
• 16-Sheet Microcut Shredder ($299.99)
• 22-Sheet Crosscut Shredder ($249.99)
I am informed that the shredders are also able to destroy Blu-ray DVDs and are backward-compatible to shred HD-DVDs (naturally, I did not say “HD-DVD” very loudly in the demonstration area, lest there be some bruised Toshiba execs nearby).
Staples, the official shredder supplier for the CES Press/Analyst Room (January 6-11, 2009), is debuting the new line to allow media attendees to experience the new shredders and their exclusive features and technology first hand.
And that was a good idea, too. The first in-house sponsor for the press room, Staples had a captive audience.
“What is the weirdest thing a member of the media has tried to shred today?” I said.
“A coaster,” the Staples rep said.
“How did that go?” I said.
“We shredded it.”
We shredded it. You’d think that with all this credit-taking – after all, the Staples rep did not have titanium teeth – that somebody would know what the residue was called.
“Well we don’t actually make the shredders,” the rep said.
Someone was brought over. He seemed to be confused about why I wanted to know. I was confused about why I wanted to know.
“We call the residue ‘shred,’” he said.
Singular and plural?
“Yes,” he said. “One piece is shred, two pieces is shred.”
More exciting than shredding that promotional DVD of Hitch was knowing that, in the end, Hitch was shred.
Mavervorl Media is a shadowy content provider dealing in entertainment, technology, and academia. 